How to Cope When Your Spouse Has Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Practical advice for couples facing the winter blues.

As the days shorten and the light fades, many people notice a dip in mood and energy. For some, however, this goes far beyond feeling “a bit low.” Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a recognised type of depression that appears during the darker months, and if your spouse suffers from it, both of you may feel its effects.

This guide from That’s Health explores how you can support your partner while looking after your own wellbeing too.

Understanding SAD in Relationships

Seasonal Affective Disorder is caused primarily by reduced sunlight, which disrupts the body’s internal clock and affects serotonin and melatonin levels. Common symptoms include:

Persistent low mood or loss of interest in usual activities

Increased need for sleep or difficulty waking up

Irritability, withdrawal, or low motivation

Cravings for carbohydrates or comfort foods

Difficulty concentrating

When your spouse’s personality seems to shift with the season, it can be upsetting, but recognising that SAD is a genuine medical condition, not a choice, helps you respond with empathy rather than frustration.

Encourage Professional Help

If your spouse hasn’t yet sought medical support, encourage them to talk to their GP. There are effective treatments available, including:

Light therapy lamps that mimic natural sunlight and help regulate mood

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which teaches coping techniques

Medication (such as antidepressants) for more severe cases

Offer to help them book an appointment, attend with them, or keep a mood diary to share with their doctor. Sometimes, simply showing that you take their condition seriously can be reassuring.

Create a Light-Filled, Positive Environment at Home

You can make your home a brighter, more uplifting space with a few small adjustments:

Open curtains fully during the day and trim back any outdoor plants blocking windows

Use bright, warm lighting indoors

Encourage time spent near windows or outdoors when possible

Consider using a dawn simulator alarm clock that gradually brightens in the morning

Even subtle increases in light exposure can make a noticeable difference.

Coping as a Couple During the Darker Months

When one partner is struggling, it affects the relationship as a whole. Try to face the season as a team.

Plan together: Schedule small, enjoyable activities to look forward to

Keep communication open: Talk honestly about how you’re both feeling

Don’t take withdrawal personally: Your partner’s quietness or irritability is likely a symptom, not a reflection of you

Remember, the goal is to support your spouse, not to “fix” them. Listening and being present can often be the best medicine.

Encourage Gentle Activity and Fresh Air

Exercise can lift mood and energy, but motivation can be low during a SAD episode. Instead of pressuring your spouse, offer gentle encouragement:

Invite them for a short walk together during daylight hours

Try easy home workouts or stretching sessions

Combine movement with pleasure, for example, a stroll through a Christmas market or along a scenic winter trail

It’s the companionship and gradual reintroduction to light that count most.

Look After Yourself Too

Supporting a partner with depression can be emotionally draining. To stay strong and positive:

Maintain your own social life and hobbies

Share how you’re feeling with trusted friends or family

Seek support if you begin to feel overwhelmed

You can only truly support your spouse if you protect your own mental wellbeing too.

Winter Wellbeing Tips for Couples

Make the darker months more bearable, even enjoyable, by embracing small, cosy routines:

Cook comforting, nutritious meals together

Watch uplifting films under a blanket

Explore seasonal activities such as light festivals or winter crafts

Take Vitamin D supplements (check with your GP first)

Add bright indoor plants to boost mood and oxygen levels

Finding light, warmth, and laughter in simple moments helps combat the gloom of winter.

When to Seek Urgent Help

If your spouse shows signs of deep depression, such as hopelessness, talk of self-harm, or emotional withdrawal, don’t wait. Seek help immediately.

In the UK, you can contact:

Samaritans – Call 116 123 (24/7, free)

NHS 111 – For urgent mental health support

Mind – Visit mind.org.uk for advice and online resources

Supporting your spouse through Seasonal Affective Disorder takes patience, understanding, and teamwork. By combining medical guidance, gentle lifestyle changes, and plenty of compassion, you can help them find hope and stability even in the darkest months of the year.

And remember, spring will come again, bringing warmth, sunlight, and renewal for you both.

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Confusion Over COVID Vaccination Eligibility. Why Many at-Risk People Are Suddenly Left Out

It appears that the government rules on the shingles aren't the only vaccination programme that is causing confusion, upset and misery. 

As winter approaches, many people across the UK are once again turning their thoughts to protecting themselves from seasonal illnesses such as flu and COVID-19. 

But this year, a wave of confusion has swept through communities as changes to the NHS’s COVID-19 vaccination eligibility rules have quietly removed large numbers of people who were previously entitled to free jabs.

Until recently, individuals with chronic conditions such as Type 2 diabetes, asthma, heart disease, or autoimmune issues were automatically classed as being “at higher risk” and therefore eligible for the free NHS COVID booster. For many, this protection became an important part of their annual health routine, a reassurance that their conditions were being taken seriously.

Now, however, the latest guidance has changed, and not everyone has realised. Under the new rules, only those aged 70 and over, people living in care homes, or those who are clinically extremely vulnerable (such as transplant patients or those on strong immunosuppressive therapy) are automatically offered the jab. Many others who were once eligible have been quietly moved off the list.

This means that someone aged 55 with well-managed Type 2 diabetes or mild asthma, who received free vaccinations in previous years, is now told they are not eligible and must pay privately if they still wish to be vaccinated. 

Understandably, this has caused frustration and confusion, especially given that COVID infections continue to circulate and that many people in these groups still consider themselves at higher risk.

While NHS officials say the new policy focuses on “those most likely to benefit,” critics argue that it creates unnecessary uncertainty and risk for people with underlying conditions that can still make COVID serious. 

It also places extra strain on GPs and pharmacists, who are having to field a flood of questions about eligibility and referrals. 

I booked my regular COVID vaccination through the NHS app and had a confirmed booking at the pharmacist the app suggested. When I arrived at the pharmacy he told me that as someone with Type 2 Diabetes and Asthma I was now no longer eligible for the COVID vaccination and he was shocked that the NHS app had issued me with an appointment. 

He suggested I consider getting a private vaccination and when I asked if he could offer that service he said it wasn't something his pharmacy could offer, but suggested I booked an appointment with Boots. The member of staff I initially spoke to wasn't aware that the eligibility criteria had changed, which added another later of confusion. 

So, f you find yourself newly excluded from the NHS programme, it is worth considering a private COVID vaccination. Many high-street pharmacies, including Boots and Superdrug, are now offering private COVID boosters for around £45–£50 per dose. Appointments are usually easy to book online, and the same approved vaccines are used as in NHS settings.

For people managing chronic conditions, or those who live or work closely with vulnerable individuals, paying for private vaccination may be a worthwhile investment in peace of mind and continued protection.

If you’re unsure about your eligibility or health status, check the latest NHS advice online or speak to your GP or pharmacist. But one thing is clear: with the guidance changing so dramatically, it’s more important than ever to stay informed and proactive about your protection this winter.

I was eventually able to book my COVID shot with Boots.

Why You Should Get the Shingles Vaccination – Even If You Have to Pay for It

Shingles isn’t just “a bit of a rash.” It’s an agonising, nerve-related condition caused by the same virus that causes chickenpox, the varicella-zoster virus. 

Once you’ve had chickenpox, that virus never leaves your body; it simply lies dormant, waiting for an opportunity to reactivate later in life. 

When it does, it reappears as shingles,  a painful, blistering rash that can lead to months (or even years) of nerve pain known as postherpetic neuralgia.

As a sufferer from shingles I can confirm that it is a nasty, painful condition. And it was my struggles to try to understand the NHS rules that prompted me to research and write this blogpost and to eventually fund my own shingles vaccination.

The NHS Rules: A Maze of Eligibility

In theory, the NHS offers a free shingles vaccination to protect people from this debilitating illness. In practice, the rules about who qualifies and when they qualify are bafflingly complex.

Under current NHS guidelines in England, the free shingles vaccine is available to people aged 70 to 79, and now also those turning 65 on or after 1 September 2023. But if you’re 66, 67, 68 or 69, you’re expected to wait, even though your risk of shingles doesn’t magically disappear until the NHS sends an invite.

Worse still, these rules vary across the UK. In Scotland and Wales, eligibility criteria differ again. The result? Many people who would benefit from the vaccine find themselves excluded simply because of their birth date or postcode.

It’s a frustrating situation, and it leaves a huge number of adults in their 50s and 60s without protection, despite shingles being most common in older adults and those with weakened immune systems.

Why Paying for the Vaccine Is Worth It

If you’re not eligible for a free NHS jab, it’s well worth paying privately. Pharmacies such as Boots, Lloyds, and Superdrug offer the Shingrix vaccine, which provides excellent long-term protection and can be administered in two doses a few months apart.

Here’s why it’s worth considering, even out of pocket:

Avoid excruciating pain: Shingles can be intensely painful, often described as burning or stabbing.

Prevent complications: The condition can cause scarring, nerve damage, vision loss (if it affects the eyes), and in rare cases, serious neurological problems.

Reduce time off work or daily disruption: Shingles can leave sufferers exhausted and unable to function for weeks. My late father was so ill with shingles that his doctor ordered him to take bedrest for a week. 

Protect your long-term health: The older you get, the more severe shingles tends to be, so prevention is key.

The cost of the vaccine privately is typically around £200–£250 for the full course. That might sound steep, but compared to the months of pain, doctor visits, and medication that shingles can bring, it’s an investment in comfort and quality of life.

The NHS Needs Simplification

While it’s excellent that the NHS provides the vaccine for some, the staggered, age-based rollout has turned something simple into a bureaucratic nightmare. Many people eligible in theory are confused by the shifting rules or unaware they qualify at all. Others are left wondering why they must wait years to get protection that’s readily available in other developed countries for anyone over 50.

Until the NHS streamlines its approach and offers the shingles vaccine more widely, taking control of your own health and arranging a private jab may well be the most sensible move.

Bottom line: Don’t wait for a letter. Don’t risk weeks or months of unnecessary suffering. Whether free or paid for, the shingles vaccination is one of the smartest health decisions you can make.

It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. 

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Eight Years of Home Care: The carer who became family to her dementia client

As told to Mark Acheson of Elder.org.

While live-in care promotes longevity and continuity, there are very few instances where a carer resides in the home for a remarkable eight years.

​For Mr John Beard and his late wife Jean, this was precisely the case. The bond they formed with their carer, Oyeyemi ‘Yemi’ Olaseinde, was undeniable.

​“She used to call me dad,” said a smiling Mr Beard.

​Yemi’s eight years of continuous care meant putting her life in London on hold, spending months at a time away from her two daughters. During the pandemic, and as Jean’s dementia worsened, Yemi stayed with the couple for six consecutive months.

​This is the longest care placement Elder has facilitated, and perhaps one of the longest examples of “loving care” as Mr Beard describes it, in the country.

​We travel to the sleepy but strikingly beautiful part of the UK, Great Longstone in the Peak District, where Mr Beard resides in the Bungalow built for Jean. It’s a home brimming with character and rich in memories.

Greeted at the door by the 90-something-year-old, Mr Beard ushers us over to a framed photo of the couple from their 1954 wedding, and a certificate from the Queen of England acknowledging their diamond anniversary.

​As we’re seated in the living room, Mr Beard hands over his wife’s funeral programme and remarks on her picture.

​“That was taken when I went into the RAF,” he said.

​“We got married on July 10, 1954, and I was called up in October.

​“I had it by my locker.”

​Mr and Mrs Beard dated from the ages of 16 to 22; their bond solidified at a local church youth club. The couple’s first encounter, or rather Jean first laying eyes on John, was rather comical.

​“She once saw me riding to school and thought my cycling was somewhat ungainly," he said, chuckling.

​She said to a friend ‘Who’s that drip?’, and she put up with that drip for 71 years.

​“She was a bit shy, she was interested in everything, she was straightforward.

“She was my all.”

​After Mr Beard left the RAF in 1956, as part of his national service, the couple moved to Sheffield to raise a family. With the welcomed addition of their two children, Alastair and Fiona, the family moved several times before residing in Ashford In The Water, not five kilometres from their Dagenham bungalow.

Jean ran the home whilst devoting her time to her local community. She served as treasurer and a committee member for The Ashford Institute and The Women’s Institute, an organisation that provides a space for women to connect, learn new skills, and campaign on issues. She also volunteered for numerous years at the Bakewell Red Cross Store.

​Mr Beard built himself a successful career as an accountant, joining what had been his grandfather’s firm in Sheffield. In retirement, he became heavily involved with the Freemasons. As a member of the charitable committee, he ultimately earned himself the title of Deputy Grand Master for Derbyshire.

​Noticing the signs of dementia

​Upon Jean’s dementia diagnosis in 2009, it became apparent to Mr Beard that their home of 32 years, a converted 200-year-old barn in Foolow, wasn’t adequate for his wife’s needs.

​Relocating to their bungalow a year later, Mr Beard recalled the time both he and Jean realised her condition was worsening.

​“She’d taken our grandson to swimming. She had come out (in her vehicle) and didn’t know which way to turn. She turned left instead of right. It was then that I realised that something was wrong.”

​“Then we went through all the different stages they go through. They worry about curtains getting pulled, doors being locked.

​“Then it gets to the stage where they don’t worry. So in a way it’s good, but it also means they’re at a lower stage.”

​It wasn’t until a fall, in which Mrs Beard fractured her pelvis, that Mr Beard realised he needed help.

​“At that stage I had to do something,” he said.

​“Whilst I could help her during the day, I couldn’t do the night bit as well.”

​More than just a carer

At first, the idea of having a carer in the home can be daunting for most, but the help from carer Yemi proved invaluable in so many ways.

​Within a few weeks, Yemi and Mrs Beard bonded. Between the care duties, they watched television, shopped, and completed puzzles, a favourite hobby of Mrs Beard’s before her diagnosis.

​Mr Beard recalls the smells of Nigerian cooking and how Yemi referred to him as “dad”.

​“She was very capable at caring, and she looked after Jean very well,” he said.

​For eight years, the Beards, John, Fiona and Alastair, entrusted Yemi to their loved ones’ care. Yemi became the foundation of Jean’s world, and in turn, the family rallied to see Yemi return home to London for breaks when she could.

​Mr Beard would pay for Yemi’s train tickets where he could, and Alastair would drive her back to London.

​Before going on break, Yemi made sure that John and Jean found the best respite carer.

​“We always tried to get the same carers, and Yemi was insistent she got the right person,” Mr Beard said.

​“Yemi and I used to look at carers and make our decisions together.

​“She (Jean) would settle when Yemi was away, but she always knew her when she came back.”

​Away from her two daughters, Yemi was embraced as a member of the family and cared for Mrs Beard until her peaceful passing in March this year.

The benefits of live-in care

​There was no doubt in Mr Beard’s mind that home, as opposed to a care home, was where his wife needed to be. Continuity of care and a familiar environment were paramount to Jean’s health, safety, and peace of mind.

​“The fact that she was here (home) and I was here, it made life much better for her, and much better for us,” he said.

​“Home every time.”

​With the bungalow just around the corner from their daughter's home, the couple could expect regular visits from their grandchildren. This, Mr Beard said, used to “pluck up” his wife, especially as her dementia worsened.

​“You tried telling her that you loved her very much, but you weren’t sure she was getting it,” he said.

​“Towards the end, there wasn’t much reaction, but one breakfast time, I went in and got the most dazzling smile. It was like a ray of sunshine.”

​Carer becomes a family member

​Yemi knows all too well the hardships faced regarding a dementia diagnosis.

​Looking after her grandmother, who lived with dementia, inspired her to become a carer.

​“I like being a companion,” she said.

​“That’s what a lot of the elderly want. A companion, a friend.”

​Yemi’s longest placement with John and Jean Beard was for six months during the pandemic. While it was difficult being away from her two daughters for such a lengthy period, she described the Beard family as “marvellous”.

​“Mrs Beard was used to me,” she said.

“I knew all of the family, the grandchildren, everyone.

“When it came time for the placement to end, Mr Beard didn’t want me to go.”

Mr Beard and Yemi still stay connected via regular phone calls.

​The importance of an early dementia diagnosis

​Mr Beard stressed the importance of looking out for signs of dementia and seeking help and a diagnosis immediately.

​“First of all, you’ve got to realise the symptoms and you’ve got to make sure you get them looked at by a psychiatrist, via a doctor, because the signs are always there,” he said.

“It needs to be diagnosed at an early stage, and I’m all for that.”

​Elder’s Head of Clinical, Bianca Wardle, concurs.

​“From a clinical standpoint, an early dementia diagnosis is fundamentally the most important step a family can take, as it reduces uncertainty and gives the person and their families a greater sense of control,” she said.

​“An early diagnosis allows families to develop a personalised care plan, involve relevant professionals, and introduce supportive therapies while the person can fully participate.

​“Most importantly, it gives families the time to make informed decisions about care and future planning before a crisis hits.

​“Waiting until symptoms worsen can make planning more challenging, may lead to last-minute decisions that affect the person's dignity and well-being, and could contribute to a faster progression of their condition."

https://www.elder.org/live-in-care