Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Women scream and men run away: When it comes to arguing with your partner, there’s a lot of learning to be done

41% of Parship members admit that, when they argue with their partner, they can easily let their emotions run away with them. When there is strife in a relationship, strong emotional reactions are more frequent among women than men (45% vs 36%) according to the findings of a representative survey of c.1000 people between 18 and 65, conducted by PARSHIP (uk.parship.com), the leading online dating agency across Europe.

Offended or overcome with rage – the different types of reaction to an argument.
The survey also shows that, among people who react emotionally in the event of conflict, the nature of the emotional outburst differs widely: 40% rapidly take offence and stop speaking to their partner; around a third give vent to their anger and labour their point until their partner gives in, and around one in five withdraw from the argument, leaving the room or the house. Strikingly, men attempt significantly more frequently than women to withdraw from the argument and flee the situation, while women have a greater tendency to give vent to their anger.

“Insufficient skill in handling conflict is often the trigger for the failure of a relationship,” explains psychologist Markus Ernst, PARSHIP relationship expert. “For instance, gender-driven differences in communication style can easily lead to misunderstandings or even to the couple hurting each other. Women and men stand to learn something from each other in these situations as they work together to establish a constructive attitude to conflict in their relationship.”

An overview of the results of the study
Question 1: Thinking of situations where you come into conflict with your partner, which of the following corresponds [most closely] to your behaviour?
1. I remain as calm and objective as possible in my attitude to the conflict issue: Overall: 51%, Men: 55%, Women:47%
2. When conflict arises with my partner, I tend to react in an emotional fashion: Overall: 41%, Men: 36%, Women:45%
3. No answer supplied: Overall: 8%, Men: 9%, Women:8%

Question 2: Which of the following modes of behaviour corresponds most closely to yours?
 1. I am quick to take offence and stop speaking to my partner: Overall: 40%, Men: 36%, Women:43%
2. I don’t hold back, tend to interrupt my partner and stick to my guns: Overall: 38%, Men: 34%, Women: 42%
3. I withdraw from the conflict and leave the room or go out and take a walk round the block: Overall: 22%, Men: 30%, Women:15%

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