As the days shorten and the light fades, many people notice a dip in mood and energy. For some, however, this goes far beyond feeling “a bit low.” Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a recognised type of depression that appears during the darker months, and if your spouse suffers from it, both of you may feel its effects.
This guide from That’s Health explores how you can support your partner while looking after your own wellbeing too.
Understanding SAD in Relationships
Seasonal Affective Disorder is caused primarily by reduced sunlight, which disrupts the body’s internal clock and affects serotonin and melatonin levels. Common symptoms include:
Persistent low mood or loss of interest in usual activities
Increased need for sleep or difficulty waking up
Irritability, withdrawal, or low motivation
Cravings for carbohydrates or comfort foods
Difficulty concentrating
When your spouse’s personality seems to shift with the season, it can be upsetting, but recognising that SAD is a genuine medical condition, not a choice, helps you respond with empathy rather than frustration.
Encourage Professional Help
If your spouse hasn’t yet sought medical support, encourage them to talk to their GP. There are effective treatments available, including:
Light therapy lamps that mimic natural sunlight and help regulate mood
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which teaches coping techniques
Medication (such as antidepressants) for more severe cases
Offer to help them book an appointment, attend with them, or keep a mood diary to share with their doctor. Sometimes, simply showing that you take their condition seriously can be reassuring.
Create a Light-Filled, Positive Environment at Home
You can make your home a brighter, more uplifting space with a few small adjustments:
Open curtains fully during the day and trim back any outdoor plants blocking windows
Use bright, warm lighting indoors
Encourage time spent near windows or outdoors when possible
Consider using a dawn simulator alarm clock that gradually brightens in the morning
Even subtle increases in light exposure can make a noticeable difference.
Coping as a Couple During the Darker Months
When one partner is struggling, it affects the relationship as a whole. Try to face the season as a team.
Plan together: Schedule small, enjoyable activities to look forward to
Keep communication open: Talk honestly about how you’re both feeling
Don’t take withdrawal personally: Your partner’s quietness or irritability is likely a symptom, not a reflection of you
Remember, the goal is to support your spouse, not to “fix” them. Listening and being present can often be the best medicine.
Encourage Gentle Activity and Fresh Air
Exercise can lift mood and energy, but motivation can be low during a SAD episode. Instead of pressuring your spouse, offer gentle encouragement:
Invite them for a short walk together during daylight hours
Try easy home workouts or stretching sessions
Combine movement with pleasure, for example, a stroll through a Christmas market or along a scenic winter trail
It’s the companionship and gradual reintroduction to light that count most.
Look After Yourself Too
Supporting a partner with depression can be emotionally draining. To stay strong and positive:
Maintain your own social life and hobbies
Share how you’re feeling with trusted friends or family
Seek support if you begin to feel overwhelmed
You can only truly support your spouse if you protect your own mental wellbeing too.
Winter Wellbeing Tips for Couples
Make the darker months more bearable, even enjoyable, by embracing small, cosy routines:
Cook comforting, nutritious meals together
Watch uplifting films under a blanket
Explore seasonal activities such as light festivals or winter crafts
Take Vitamin D supplements (check with your GP first)
Add bright indoor plants to boost mood and oxygen levels
Finding light, warmth, and laughter in simple moments helps combat the gloom of winter.
When to Seek Urgent Help
If your spouse shows signs of deep depression, such as hopelessness, talk of self-harm, or emotional withdrawal, don’t wait. Seek help immediately.
In the UK, you can contact:
Samaritans – Call 116 123 (24/7, free)
NHS 111 – For urgent mental health support
Mind – Visit mind.org.uk for advice and online resources
Supporting your spouse through Seasonal Affective Disorder takes patience, understanding, and teamwork. By combining medical guidance, gentle lifestyle changes, and plenty of compassion, you can help them find hope and stability even in the darkest months of the year.
And remember, spring will come again, bringing warmth, sunlight, and renewal for you both.
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